Another installment of my late-night confessions!
Sometimes litter tells a story. Once I saw a bunch of men’s clothes and belongings that had very clearly been thrown from a window, and knew that someone had just been broken up with. Sometimes it’s a story you’d rather not know, like the time I saw a condom on the floor of a McDonald’s in Toronto.
I’m not sure what this story was, though I’d like to think it was a child’s birthday party. The sunscreen was from a responsible parent, the Topo Chico seltzer from someone trying not to drink too much at a kid’s birthday party, candy for the kids. I feel like birthday parties, for kids, are all about getting a sugar fix: one girl I knew growing up even wrote on her tenth birthday invitations “Come if you like Sandy Candy!”
Sandy Candy was basically just Pixy Stix, but for some reason, it was huge at the time. (I was reflecting on how much Beverly Cleary got right about childhood today, and this is one example: Ramona and Beezus always have strange food-related “fads” at their school—gummy bears, hard-boiled eggs, putting a banana sticker on your forehead.) There was also Raven’s Revenge, which was basically just goth Pixy Stix. I somehow remember there being a scary-looking raven on the label? But maybe I was just a gothy kid.
It was definitely a sign of strength to be able to withstand a sour or spicy candy, especially ones with disturbing names, like Warheads or Atomic Fireballs. Although someone in my second grade class once got in trouble for bringing Lucas candy, a Mexican tamarind-and-chilies powdered candy, to school. It was a bit too spicy for some of the white kids in our second grade, I guess, and our teachers actually took it as an opportunity to talk to us about… drugs? I guess the message was “never put something in your mouth without knowing what it is,” but when I look back on it as an adult it feels a little racist. You probably shouldn’t eat Lucas candy nowadays, though: I just learned that many varieties of it have been found contaminated with lead.
Anyway, if anybody wants to have a sunscreen, seltzer, and sour patch kids party, hit me up. It may be a little late in the year for it, but there’s always next summer. And don’t litter!
Stuff I Did This Week: My essay about an Akira Kurosawa movie that changed how I saw Shakespeare forever went up on Talkhouse Film! If you’ve never seen a Kurosawa movie, I can’t recommend him enough: he really was a master, and his work is very accessible.
Also, there was a really great episode of Passenger List this week, and you should definitely listen to it, not only because one of my FAVORITE PERFORMERS EVER guest stars on it, but also because it leads very nicely into next week’s episode, which was written by someone you know and love! Or at least know and like enough to get a newsletter from! If you haven’t listened to the first few episodes, though, don’t ruin it for yourself, go back and listen from the beginning!
Fake BBC Show of the Week: Mrs Crimble’s Christmas Sweetshop
Midnight Confession #23: I Want Candy