Thursday, June 7, 20182 comments 

What A Straight Man's Favorite Musical Says About Him, Act 2

A few years ago I wrote this list, based on extensive experience. People on Twitter have been asking me to do a follow-up ever since. Here’s hoping it’s more of a Falsettos than a Love Never Dies.

Hair

He is the first to get naked at a party.

Pippin

He is the second to get naked at a party.

Into the Woods

He doesn't consider himself a pessimist, but a realist.

Man of La Mancha

He doesn’t consider himself an optimist, but a realist!

Oklahoma

He’s secretly quite sensitive.

Nine

He will tell you that he’s “secretly quite sensitive.”

Sunday in the Park with George

He uses the word “process” too much.

How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying

He uses the words “mid-century modern” too much.

Jekyll and Hyde

He would use the word “Byronic” too much, if he had any idea what it meant.

Jesus Christ Superstar

He has tried to enter a convenience store barefoot.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

He wants to tell you about a book that changed his life.

Dreamgirls

He is a DJ at family birthdays.

Mamma Mia

He is a DJ at weddings.

In the Heights

He gets a group of people around him on the dance floor, watching and cheering, at weddings.

Evita

He stands on the side of the dance floor arms folded across his chest, head cocked to the side, frowning slightly as he watches, at weddings.

Hamilton

He has cried at a Wikipedia article.

The Lion King

He has cried at a movie trailer.

Chess

He has cried at Eurovision.

Beauty and the Beast

He read a Bulgakov book once!

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812

He’s tired of explaining that Bulgakov “doesn’t count.”

Urinetown

He’s tired of explaining that Rick Sanchez isn’t the hero of the show.

Rock of Ages

He thinks Rick Sanchez is the hero of the show.

My Fair Lady

He has a now-inactive profile on FetLife.

The Wild Party (LaChiusa)

He has a very active profile on FetLife.

The Wild Party (Lippa)

He has a very active profile on BroadwayWorld.com.

Newsies

He has broken a limb trying to do a bell kick.

Legally Blonde

His laugh can only be described as a giggle.

The Producers

His Bar Mitzvah speech was really more of a “set.”

Next to Normal

He has diagnosed all of his friends with mental illnesses.

Assassins

He once blurted out “I love Stalin!" in a high school history class and then spent the rest of the class explaining that he does not actually “love Stalin.”

Spring Awakening

He lost his virginity at a Dashboard Confessional concert.

American Idiot

He tells everybody he lost his virginity at a Dashboard Confessional concert. (It was actually at a Simple Plan concert.)

Miss Saigon

He just wants Jenna to be happy. You know?


Singin’ In the Rain

He has great taste in movies, but does not understand the point of this list.